Why am I not talking to someone? Instead I’ve got this crumply letter in my hands, the one I’ve written for Jake to read. I want to ask what he thought of seeing Melisha and I that night in the shower room. I thought we had locked eyes for so long when Melisha was pushing me against the wall, but was he mostly taken aback by her backside, not me? Not my thinner hair? My pudgier, paler skin?I’m not going to hand him this letter. I’m not a middle school girl anymore. I’m a twenty-year-old intellectual young woman. I walk into the smoky kitchen, then the noisy living room. I don’t care that I’ve forgotten what I was going to say. Among the crowd, I slip in, to the arm of the couch, grab Jake by the tie and pull him toward my mouth slightly. He waits for me to speak.“I’m not a lesbian, you know.”He smiles, gives an aloof nod, and goes back to listening to some girl talking. He thinks I’m drunk, when really I’m crystal-clear headed and waiting here next to him with heavy avarice held in. A bright sun rises to greet your sharp waking mind as you prepare to leave the little village you grew up in. Many have disagree with your choice of leaving home at the ripe age of twenty, many suitors and hard working men had attempted to convince you to stay behind and become the mother of their children, however your dreams remained adamant.You've desired to clash blades with those who threaten the peace, to stand as the symbol of justice and righteousness, just like the legendary heroine from the Ivonian Kingdom once did half a century ago. Ever since you were a little girl you dreamt of wearing the shining plate of armor, charging into battle on horseback with fearless vigor and with such a surreal image in your mind you never backed down from any bully or challenge. Difficult and rowdy, you were seen as a ruly tomboy who would have been mistaken as any country rascal but as puberty came, things changed.Your body once indistinguishable from the rest of the country bumpkins now.
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